I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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