So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
