Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
