my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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