Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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