You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
