Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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