It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
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