I will die if light touches me.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
