Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
