Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize