I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
