Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
