If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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