But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
