i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
