I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
