you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
