you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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