Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
