fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize