I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
