I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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