I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
