Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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