how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize