ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize