I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
