and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
