Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
