I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
