I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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