I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
