When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
