I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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