Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
