Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
