dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
