Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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