The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
