They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
