this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
