O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
