Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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