just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
