No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
