Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
