Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
