i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
