get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
