Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
