Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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