so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
