the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
