half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
