Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
