I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
