she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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