i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize