When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
